The holiday season is a time of warmth, family, and togetherness, but for elderly loved ones in long-term senior care, it can also bring a mix of emotions. Whether your relative is in a facility due to health concerns, memory issues, or simply for better daily care, visiting them over the holidays is a meaningful way to share love and connection.
However, these visits require careful thought to ensure that they are enjoyable and emotionally supportive for both the elderly family member and the visiting family.
Being Sensitive to Emotions and Circumstances
When visiting a loved one in long-term senior care, it’s important to understand why they are there and how that may affect their emotional state. Seniors might be in care for a variety of reasons, including physical limitations, chronic illness, cognitive decline, or simply for help with daily activities.
Regardless of the reason, being in a facility, especially during the holidays, can stir feelings of sadness, loss, or isolation.
- Feelings of Loss or Disconnection: The holidays can remind elderly family members of their past lives when they may have hosted holiday gatherings or been more active in family traditions. Acknowledge these feelings and show empathy. Ask them about their favorite holiday memories and listen attentively to their stories. This can help them feel connected to both the present and the past.
- Physical or Cognitive Challenges: Some elderly individuals in senior care may face limitations in mobility or suffer from memory-related conditions such as dementia or Alzheimer’s. When visiting, be mindful of their physical and cognitive abilities. Keep conversations at a comfortable pace, and try not to overwhelm them with too much noise or excitement.
- Loneliness and Isolation: Even if they are in a caring environment, some seniors may feel lonely, particularly if they can’t participate in family events or live far from loved ones. Reassure them that their presence is cherished and important, and emphasize that being together in any way—whether at home or in the facility—truly matters.
Preparing the Family, Especially Young Children
Before the visit, it’s important to prepare the whole family, especially younger children, for what to expect. This is a subject we’ve discussed before outside the context of the holiday season. Senior living facilities may look different from the home environment, and your loved one may have changed physically or emotionally since the last visit.
- Explain the Situation: It’s important to help children understand why their grandparent or elderly relative is in a care facility. Explain their health challenges in simple terms so they aren’t confused or frightened. Encourage them to ask questions and express their feelings before the visit.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Please remember to convey to the family that the visit might be shorter than usual or that their loved one may not be able to engage in conversations as they used to. It’s important to manage expectations around what activities you will do together. This can help avoid disappointment and create a light and loving atmosphere during the visit.
- Teach Sensitivity and Patience: Please keep in mind that some seniors may require more time to respond or recollect things. Kindly encourage a gentle and patient approach during the visit to ensure everyone feels comfortable and at ease, including the children.
When preparing children for a holiday visit to a care facility where a grandparent or elderly relative resides, it’s important to explain the reasons for the residency in simple terms to avoid confusion or fear. Setting realistic expectations about the visit’s length and the nature of interactions is also important. Additionally, teaching children to be patient and sensitive towards the slower response times or memory challenges of their elderly relatives can ensure a comfortable and joyful atmosphere for everyone involved.
Bringing Love and Warmth to the Visit
When visiting your loved one at a senior care facility during the holiday season, it’s essential to cherish every moment spent together. Bringing meaningful holiday gifts or engaging in heartfelt conversations about cherished holiday memories can significantly enhance the visit, creating a warm and loving atmosphere that celebrates the spirit of the season.
- Holiday Gifts and Decorations: Small, meaningful gifts can brighten the day for elderly loved ones. Consider bringing something that will remind them of family traditions or past holidays, such as a framed family photo, a homemade holiday card, or a favorite holiday treat (being mindful of dietary restrictions). You can also bring small, easy-to-manage decorations like string lights or a miniature tree to bring a festive atmosphere to their room.
- Comfort Items: Seniors living in care facilities often miss the familiar comforts of home. Consider bringing in cozy blankets, soft slippers, family photos, and other personal items that can help create a warm and comforting environment in their living space. These familiar touches can make a significant difference in their well-being and sense of belonging.
- Music and Memories: Music can evoke powerful emotions and memories, especially during the holidays. If your loved one enjoys holiday music, consider playing their favorite tunes from years past. Singing carols or listening together can create a warm and bonding experience.
- Conversation Starters: Engage your loved one in conversations that focus on their life experiences. Ask about their favorite holiday traditions, meals, or moments. Even if they have memory issues, you can still reminisce on their behalf by sharing stories of family celebrations. For those with dementia, gentle, open-ended questions like “Did you ever bake cookies for Christmas?” or “What was your favorite gift as a child?” can sometimes trigger happy memories without causing frustration.
Ending the Visit with Love and Reassurance
As your visit comes to a close, it’s a good time to convey a positive and heartfelt message. Visits can stir up a mix of emotions for everyone involved. It’s crucial to offer your loved one reassurance, letting them know that they are always in your thoughts and that you’re eagerly anticipating the next time you’ll be together. This can help ease any feelings of sadness or emotional strain.
- Goodbye Rituals: If possible, establish a small goodbye ritual that your loved one can look forward to, whether it’s a simple hug, a special phrase, or a promise to call or video chat soon. Knowing they’ll see or hear from you again soon can provide comfort and continuity.
- Follow-Up with Caregivers: Before leaving, it may be helpful to check in with the caregiving staff. Ask about how your loved one is doing, and if there are any ways you can support them during or after the holidays.